My birthday is tomorrow.
Last week the kids asked me what I wanted for my birthday — and because I am luckier than I deserve to be, I could think of no one thing I really wanted.
I mean, new shoes are always nice, but I don’t even know which ones I’d want. I’m sure I could FIND a pair if I looked online for three seconds, but the point is that there’s nothing I really, honestly WANT right now.
Except one thing: to know, finally, if we’re moving or not.
It’s been six months of limbo. Six months of not knowing if we should sign the kids up for sports and activities. Six months of not planning trips. Six months of putting off house projects because our “To Rent” project list is very different from our long-term home plans.
Six months is a long time to wait. A long time to not know if we’re going or we’re staying.
So all I want is an answer.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a YES. I want a YES. But at least a NO takes me out of limbo.
I didn’t say that to the kids — that’s more than they need to process, and despite the fact that they too are waiting for an answer, they’re not thinking about it on a daily basis. For them, moving isn’t a tangible, understandable event. If it happens, they’ll go. If it doesn’t, fine—they have baseball and swim team and plenty of other adventures to look forward to, and they’ll never regret not having gone.
Instead I told them I’d love some new pajamas or a gift certificate for a mani/pedi, both of which would be great gifts.
But I’m just sending this out to the universe here and now in the hopes that someone is listening: All I want for my birthday is an answer.