I always wanted a lot of kids. Before I HAD children, four was, in fact, my minimum number. I really wanted five or six.
When Quinn was born though, my fourth baby in five and half years, I had been pregnant or nursing for what felt like forever. I had had children every other year from 2004 through 2010. And I just felt like that was it — I didn’t want to be pregnant or nursing anymore. I wanted my body back. I was done. Matt agreed; I think he was even more done than I was. We took care of things so that we wouldn’t get pregnant anymore.
Then Quinn turned one and my baby fever kicked back in and I decided we had made a terrible, terrible mistake. We should definitely have had ONE MORE child. And I was sure that this time, it would definitely be another girl. Just as sure as I had been with my previous three pregnancies, all of which resulted in boys. Matt had anticipated this, apparently, knowing that when each of our kids had hit their first birthday, I decided it was time for another one. He knew my change of heart was coming, and he helped me work through it. It wasn’t a fast process, though. To be honest, it took me about a year and half to finally accept it and no longer feel a deep sense of regret. It was about the time that Quinn was potty-trained when I felt, at last, like I was okay with really being done.
I think it was the realization that after eight years and three months of diapers, I was finished. A weight was lifted and we moved into new parenting territory; we had no more “babies” then. After that, I was good with no more children and I haven’t looked back.
I love having four kids. I love the noise and the chaos, the million pairs of shoes by the door, the endless laundry and the never-ending cooking, and the giant cars we have to buy so we can all fit in. I really do, even if I complain about it.
I always knew I wanted a big family, but once I started having kids, I changed my mind about exactly HOW big.
How many kids do you have? Are you happy with your family size? Are you done having kids? Did it turn out the way you expected? I’d love to hear.